How unmasking my ADHD helped me – and my colleagues

“You don’t seem like you have ADHD,” said an old colleague when I recently caught up with him. I could see why he thought that; I'd spent years unknowingly masking my true self.

Some traits were never masked though. I experience extreme emotional sensitivity to rejection and criticism, something I now recognise as rejection-sensitive dysphoria. I can lose track of time and give attention to one task for hours without moving (known as hyperfocus). Then sometimes I’m just as likely to get distracted and shift focus to something new and exciting. These tendencies have always shown up for me in the workplace, though they’re not that recognisable as ADHD traits.

I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 27. When I reflect on my past, I often wondered how no one realised I had ADHD when I have so many of the symptoms typical for women. Maybe this is because there’s a growing understanding that behaviours and symptoms in females with ADHD can be very different; we’re less likely to be identified and referred for assessment (BMC Psychiatry). As a result of this lack of awareness, I’d been signed off from work with anxiety before and I’d spent a lot of money on therapy trying to help the wrong condition!

Coming into the workplace I thought what I experienced was the norm; what did I have to compare it to? I assumed everyone struggled to finish big tasks, even though they were close to completion. I thought we were supposed to work so hard that we reached the point of burnout. I thought everyone could have their entire day ruined by being stuck in traffic.

It was only after going back to ‘normal’ working following the pandemic that I noticed how much I'd been struggling. I was losing concentration and focus, my anxiety was at an all-time high, and I was exhausted from being in the office. I now realise this is because during lockdown at home, for the first time in my entire life, I wasn’t masking my behaviour. I want to thrive at work, for my own sense of pride but also for the benefit of my colleagues too.

Working with, not against, my condition

Being diagnosed with ADHD changed my life. I know I'm fortunate to have this with the BBC sharing earlier this year that there’s an eight-year backlog for adult ADHD assessments in the UK. With a diagnosis, I felt validated, like I had a reason for being the way I am, and that it isn’t a bad thing. But now I’ve had to learn what works for me so I'm thriving, not just surviving. I benefited from my recent time leading the social media team at IOSH; I can see how the nature of the job being fast-paced and constantly evolving suits my brain!

Yet, I’ve learnt there are things which help me feel I can perform to my best at work.

• A to-do list made up of smaller tasks that I can tick off with ease to get that dopamine hit. Don't put an entire project on your list as one task.
• A flexible workplace. Sometimes I physically cannot get to my desk for 09:00 and I can’t sit still all day.
• Colleagues and a line manager who are open and understanding.
• Knowing it’s okay to work so close to a deadline; that’s when my creativity is at its best.
• When people put meetings in my diary with an explanation or description beforehand. My anxiety will go through the roof if I just see ‘catch up’, with no context.
• If you’re inviting me to a long meeting, please give me an agenda.

I could make a much bigger list than this. I’m constantly learning after living differently for 27 years, both in and outside of work. I wouldn’t call my ADHD a ‘superpower’; a lot of what I experience with my condition can be hard mentally and physically. What I have learnt, though, is that there are some things that make me the way I am that are due to my ADHD – and I wouldn’t change them. My strong emotions make me want the best for my colleagues. My fast-paced thinking helps me have creative ideas. My hyperfocus can help me with the projects I'm excited about. Even writing this, I’ve focused for hours, had 20 tabs open on my computer and established a ‘brain dump’ that runs to three pages.

Everyone should be able to feel comfortable at work and work in a way that helps them thrive. You, too, will work in a neurodiverse environment, where employers need to make sure they’re doing what they can to make it inclusive of everyone who works there.